Indications That She Likes You.

By Donnavan Finlay, Co-Founder of Guyding Principals.

“People may not always tell you how they feel about you, but they will always show you. Pay attention”

When I was younger I found myself clueless on this matter. I did get better with time and practice, but my younger cousin asked me for some advise about this recently. This made me realize that I was not the only one and some still struggle with it today. Do we really know when a girl is into you or not? Some people will not be able to tell even if the signs are clear to others.

Non-verbal communication is what we need to look for. Girls are shy as well and will seldom tell you straight up that they are interested in you. She may not say the words but her body language will tell the whole story.

Look out for the following hints to show you the way.

  • She Engages in the Conversation.

When she sticks around talking to you and engages in the conversation, it shows that she is interested in you. A better sign would be if she stays chatting to you after her friends have already left.

  • She Faces You.

When a girl faces you in the conversation it shows that she is interested. Other things to look for are open arms. Crossed arms is not a good sign. If she is turned away from you she is not that interested and possibly has something else on her mind.

  • She Laughs at What You Have to Say.

This is a great sign if she finds you funny. We all know humor is a great icebreaker. If you get to laugh together, you are making a great impression on her. Just don’t overdo it.

  • She Tells You that She is Single.

This indicates that she wants you to know that she is available. If she was not interested she will most likely not mention it or even lie and tell you that she is in a relationship.

  • She Smiles at You.

A girl who smiles at you likes you. It is that simple. If she is shy, she might just smiled momentarily, but she will smile at you.

  • Her Friends will Drop Clues if She Likes You.

She will surely tell her friends if she likes you so note their actions as well. Are they friendly towards you? Does it seem like he friends are teasing her? Have nay of her friends hinted with a question if you may like her?

  • She Compliments You.

When you see her she might give you compliments on being well dressed or other physical appearance.

  • She Hugs You.

This proves that she has no concerns with physically engaging with you. She may be a bit shy to tell you in words that she likes you but a hug may be her way of telling you.

  • She Gets a Bit Jealous.

If she shows that she gets a bit annoyed when you talk to other girls it shows that she is interested. No one likes competition. Just note that you should not play with her feelings. No decent self-respecting girl likes a player. If she goes all hardcore jealous I suggest you move with caution.

 

Some people find it tough to express how they feel, but the body language will always tell the truth. Take note of her non-verbal communication and you will get the message.

 

Once she has given you the signals you should return the favor. Return the smile and return the compliments. This will put her at ease and both of you can relax knowing you like one another.

 

If you have more questions please feel free to contact us.

 

Good luck out there!

 

 

 

 

Dealing with Shyness.

“Believe in your Flyness. Conquer your Shyness” – Kanye West

By Donnavan Finlay, Co-Founder of Guyding Principals.

I posted an article about dealing with shyness at networking events and it got some good feedback. I did realize that this is not the only area some people need help with their social anxiety. It is estimated that about 17 million Americans have to deal with social anxiety or a social phobia on a regular basis. This is not an issue only adults have to deal with. Kids do as well. When kids join a new school they have to try to make new friends. I remember the times I moved schools. The one thing I hated was anxiety I felt, as I knew I had to try to make new acquaintance. I found it pretty stressful.

From my experiences and with dealing with shy people at a variety of events, I have put together some ideas of what you can work on to deal with your anxiety.

  • Act with Confidence.

This is one thing that you will have to work on continuously. Only through action, learning and practice will you get the results you want.

As with most things in life you need to practice continuously and learn as you go along. Think of playing golf. You need to put in a lot of practice to get better results. And even when you do get better, you still need to work on it to keep that performance level. If you do take some time off from playing, next time you do play you will have poor results and you have to almost start all over again.

Practice makes perfect.

  • Participate in YOUR LIFE

Life is too short to worry about being rejected. And to be fair, who really cares. So next time you are at the gym, start some small talk with someone.

Sporting events are great places to start a random conversation. You already have something in common, you like sports. It is easy from there.

If you see someone you are romantically attracted to, start a conversation. Ask them on a date if you feel the timing is right. Worst-case scenario, they say no. Nothing has changed and life goes as normal.

Most important lesson here is to engage and participate in your own life.

  • Just Say, “YES”

Step out of your comfort zone and try something new that makes you a bit anxious. I usually suggest to people to join some sort of club. Whether it is a sports club or social club. Put yourself in a position where you can meet new people. This will help you gain confidence and your anxiety of meeting new people will fade over time.

Another great option is to take on a new task. Something that will challenge you. Get a new hobby or develop a new skill.

Challenge yourself at every opportunity you get.

  • Be More Talkative

Whenever an opportunity comes up where you can do a speech or presentation, take it. This will be scary at first, but this is a great way to gain confidence. It will take some practice but so does everything worth doing.

Forget what other people may be saying or thinking. This is not about them, this is all about you.

Participate in conversations and make you ideas heard.

Remember that not everyone is going to like you. And it is simply impossible to keep everyone happy. So no need to even try.

  • Take Note of your Body Language

Confident body language is very important. Stand up straight, make eye contact, shake hands and listen. When you do speak, speak clearly and take note of your language.

  • Be Aware

You need to be present in your own life. Be aware of your thoughts and where they lead. You need to keep a positive mind to achieve better things. You can’t live a positive life with a negative mind.

When you try new things and conversations, take note of the whole experience. Learn from it and work on it. Experience your own life. Take note of the things around you that you are grateful for. There are lots of positives all around us. No need to dwell on the past and bad experiences and memories. Life is happening now.

 

Follow these steps and keep working at it. At the end it is only you that can make the positive changes in your life that you desire.

This is not a quick fix and will not always be easy. But the juice will be worth the squeeze.

 

Suggested book to read ; How to win friends and influence people by Dale Carnegie. 

Tell us what you do to overcome anxiety.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Breaking the Ice.

Breaking the Ice.

“Believing that you’re enough is what gives you the courage to be authentic”

– Brene Brown

By Sam Kapur, Co-Founder of Guyding Principals

Most guys fail with women within the first 5 seconds of meeting them. Why is that? It’s because you don’t know how to break the ice properly. Approaching a woman at a bar, club, or any other social environment can be one the scariest aspects of dating. That’s why online sources have worked so well, they eliminate the fear of public humiliation and public rejection.

But if you can learn some basics of breaking the ice can not only meet women, but maybe even meet some interesting people.

  1. Approach with confidence

It doesn’t matter as much what you say, it’s how you say it. Obviously this is easier said than done, but the best advice I can give you is with practice comes confidence. The more you put yourself out there and try the more you realize that rejection is not the end of the world. Think of any rejection as a learning experience instead of a failure.

  1. The 5 Second Rule

Whether it’s women or the person sitting next to you at the bar in the airport. After 5 seconds of not breaking the ice things get exponentially more difficult. If you are going to approach someone or speak with them then make your move immediately. This will not only show confidence, but it will allow you to get out of you own head.

  1. Be Natural

You’re a good person that people should get to know. Don’t try to put on a fake persona, be comfortable with who you are. Even if just on a subconscious level, others can tell when you are being fake. This is another benefit of the 5 Second Rule, if you approach immediately you won’t have time to think of a cheesy line, you will say something on the cuff instead making you more genuine.

The main thing to remember is if you don’t try you will never learn. So go out there and be more social.

 

 

 

The Perfect Formula for a First Date

The Perfect Formula for a First Date

By Sam Kapur, Co Founder of Guyding Principals.

After living in NYC for over 9 years I have become an expert on first dates.  Having over 100 first dates during this time I have learned a few key points that will give you the best chance for success.

Here is my personal formula.

I start the date out at a nice quite place that has good cocktails.  Try to find a spot where you can sit at the bar instead of a table.   This way you don’t have to figure out if you are going to sit next to your date or across from her.  Now is a great opportunity to start to get to know her better and strike a conversation.  Ask lots of open ended question, basically any question that starts with who, what, where, when, why, or how, this will allow her to do most of the talking while you facilitate the conversation.  Utilize this time to break the “touch barrier”, I’m not talking about anything creepy so get your mind out of the gutter.  While in conversation lightly touch her arm in the area between the elboy and shoulder.  At first the touch should last under a second and then eventually when you build up rapport you can start to linger the touch a bit longer.

After finishing your cocktails head over to the restaurant.  The next destination should be within walking distance of each other keeping in mind that she might be wearing high heels and it could be uncomfortable for her to walk long distances.

Some guys like to go to a restaurant where they might know the staff, I would avoid this.  She might think that you frequently bring your dates there or might get uncomfortable as the staff speaks with you leaving her out of the conversation.

Lastly, end the night with a night cap at a more casual bar that has music, live music is always the best option if this is available.  You want the place to be loud enough to where you will have to be fairly close to each other giving you a reason to speak closer to her ear.   

There is a psychology behind all of this.  First of all the reason you don’t go straight to the restaurant is because it’s tougher to have a conversation when chewing on food.  It’s inevitable that one of you will ask a question while the other person is chewing on food and then you have that awkward moment of silence while waiting for the person to swallow.  

Most women typically get the most comfortable with men after 3 dates.  By going to 3 very different places in the first date it subconsciously simulates 3 dates in their mind and gets them to open up to you sooner.

These are just some suggestions that I have from past experience.  Tell us what has worked for you, or what hasn’t worked.

 

Surviving the first date.

By Donnavan Finlay, Co-Founder of Guyding Principals.

“If you treat a first date like an interview, it will feel like one. Just be yourself and let your personality shine”.

Going on a first date can be daunting for anyone. The pressure we put on ourselves can make us so nervous that it causes us to mess up an opportunity to have a great time with a potential partner. This post is here to assist you with the planned evening and show you there is no real reason for concern.

Do your homework.

Think back to prior conversations. Did the person mention any food they prefer? Did the person mention any foods they dislike? Once you have figured that out you can make the reservation. When choosing the restaurant, do research. What is the place famous for? Does the place turn into a club later on? Get all the facts before to take pressure off the rest of the date night. Once you know what to expect the night will go better.

When choosing the restaurant make sure the place is not pricey. Fancy places can cause some uncomfortable moments. She may feel under dressed. Fancy places will not impress her. A fun and comfortable evening will surely increase your chances of a second date.

Have a back up plan in case something changes or she does not like the place.

Be a gentleman.

Opening the door and pulling out the chair goes a long way. Women like to be treated with respect. If she insists on opening the door herself, let her. Pay attention to her experience. Maybe she does not like her drink. Ask her so you can order something else for her. If she is not enjoying something served she will not enjoy the night and it will affect the whole experience.

Make a good impression.

Dress well, the first impression will be a lasting one. Shorts and flip-flops will not cut it. Also an old favorite band t-shirt will not give the correct impression.

Be on time, arriving a bit earlier will even be better to make sure you have a good table. Also it will give you some time to take in the surroundings and chill out a bit.

Be attentive to her conversation but don’t forget she is focused on you as well. Be nice to the staff. Tip well. Make friends with the staff. From experience making friends with the staff leads to better service and will surely turn an average meal into a great one.  

Taking the lead.

Avoid wasting time trying to figure out who is paying. Get the check and pay. Then you can get out of there and go for a drink somewhere else or just have a walk. If the menu is confusing her offer to order a couple of things so you can share. Take charge of the situation. Avoid acting like a control freak, just make a decision and go with it.

Important thing to remember is that there is no reason to worry so much. Worse case after the date you go home alone, the same way you arrived. Not the end if the world.

Added tips.

Show up with a small gesture. Maybe a single flower.

Be polite.

Show interest in her. Be curios.

Have a back-up plan.

Tell us about your worst date experience.  Don’t worry we won’t judge.